In the last few months, I’ve personally witnessed 4 marriages kissing the dust, the very one that prompted this post hit the rock few days ago. When I heard from the wife, I engaged few of my elderly friends that have been married for over 20years.
Unfortunately we don’t have statistics in this part of the world to keep track of our activities so I’ll resort to the African-American Statistics in the US.
It is said that 40-50% of all First marriages (those of faith and those without faith) are all going to end up in divorce; Over 60% of all Second marriages will going to end up in divorce and from 70-75% of all Third Marriages will end up in divorce and it begins to suggest that the marriage is not the problem but the people involved, so if the first person is bad, is the second and third also bad?
Let’s share some risk factors that predisposes marriages to failure (this is not saying that they responsible for the failure in marriages, they are the things that if you don’t consider, they will aide your marriages in getting into trouble.
* EARLY MARRIAGE: When people marry too young, when marriage is contracted too early it predisposes them to failure because of the issues associated with immaturity. You might ask when is the right time to get married, the truth is nobody knows. Maturity is not married in chronological age, I’ve seen 40 year old babies trying to be men and women. When people marry too young on or before coming to terms with or having a sense of who they really are, if they are not careful they will end up with something they think they cannot do without only to realize they don’t really need that thing.
* LOW INCOME: Low income adds extra stress to the marriage. Marriage is already tough enough not to add to the fact that you can’t provide the way your spouse wants you to. The highest level of frustration is to be in a marriage with someone that is demanding what you don’t have the capacity to give. Low income will add stress to the marriage because some things are constant in marriage, like school fees, rents, upkeep, hair et al.
* PRE-MARITAL COHABITATION: Pre- marital cohabitation which includes but not limited to premarital sex. People who live together and are having sex before the marry officially don’t necessarily make a success out of the marriage because having sex before marriage clouds your judgement, things are starring you in the face and you can’t see it. Sex before marriage only shows one thing, your lack of intelligence.
* PREGNANCY: Pregnancy before marriage creates distrust.
* ARGUMENT: Arguing over minor and unnecessary things will breed hate gradually.
My generation needs to understand that the moment we fail to put our efforts in making it work, we are making it difficult for others and breeding bitter people in the society.
We have to understand that for every time there is a divorce, Our children are at risk when we fail to grow with them.